Happy Sexy New Year!

originally uploaded by Eleutheromanic

Happy Sexy New Year!!

Thanks for making this an enjoyable first month of blogging. I have some exciting things planned for 2007:

1. Shopping for Porn at the Desert Industries

2. Book reviews: Mormon and Non-Mo Erotica

3. Porn versus Erotica Discussions

4. Religious Erotic Parodies

5. New Erotic Fiction

6. Erotic Poetry

7. Personal Essays on the Mormon Experience or Erotic Experience or Both

I love input and would like to hear any of your thoughts on where the 2007 is going to take us erotically or otherwise.

What Book am I?

You're Ulysses!
by James Joyce
Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared
to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do
understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once
brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in
the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you
additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I find this particularly hilarious because of the following:

a) I'm just about to finish Ulysseus for the first time.
b) I just started a vulgar blog.
c) In case you are wondering about Ulysseus, the last chapter when Joyce does the stream of consciousness of the female is the only really juicy part. In reflecting on the outrage the book caused, I'm beginning to think that it was he made the woman so sexual that scandalized people, not the sex itself.

The Bondage of Religion

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Before I begin, let me rant just a little over the fact that I had drafted a marvelous post and lost it into the cyber-ether. Damn it all to hell.

Now, on to more pleasant topics: This choice little video (if I can get it to upload properly and not completely obliterate my prose, my links, my footnote and my Shakespeare quotes) does wonders for re-interpreting Second Nephi 1: 13-15.

So for today's scripture study, I want you to watch the video and contemplate the implications of the following scripture -- especially after you know what God did with that hot little virgin Mary.

13 O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound, which are the chains which bind the children of men, that they are carried away captive down to the eternal gulf of misery and woe.

14 Awake! and arise from the dust, and hear the words of a trembling parent, whose limbs ye must soon lay down in the cold and silent grave, from whence no traveler can return[1]; a few more days and I go the way of all the earth.

15 But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.

It is good to know that God is only going to let the bondage game go on so long before he decides to encirle you about eternally in the arms of his hot, heavenly love. Watching that video, I was thinking, "Now, if I were God, sitting nigh up to Kolob, and that girl was all tied up in those painful looking ropes, why I would free her and redeem her and let her behold my glory."

Sorry women, but this is a patriarchal religion after all and you'll just have to be gratified with being saved from your bondage.

[1] I've wanted to do a footnote ever since I saw Gluby do it on his blog. I didn't have anything and then I realized that Lehi's little bondage speech contained some language that I had read before -- not when I was re-reading 2 Nephi for the twentieth time because I could never get past the sections where Isaiah was copied from the Old Testament, but rather from one of my even more frequent readings of the most famous dramatic soliloquy of all time. Ladies and Gentleman of the blogosphere, I give you Hamlet's To Be or Not To Be speech:

To be or not to be, that is the question —

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, . . . blah blah blah all in iambic pentameter . . .

But that the dread of something after death,

The undiscovered country from whose bourn

No traveller returns, puzzles the will,

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all

I'm so grateful that Shakespeare and Hamlet had the good sense to quote an Ancient American Prophet from 600 B.C. Shakespeare was so incredibly attune to the truth and nature of life. Yet, it appears that Joseph Smith and Hamlet suffered from the same cognitive disconnect -- they both seemed to know a lot of travellers from death's undiscovered country. Hamlet talked to the ghost of his father -- did he just forget about that? And Joe had a regular revolving door of the dead -- Christ, Moroni, Peter, James, John, John the Baptist, Elijah, Moses, etc. But alas, for us mere mortals, we have decidedly few visitors, but hey what do I know? I am but mad north by northwest, when the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw.

Laura Kipnis' Books

I got one of my Christmas presents to myself in the mail today, Laura Kipnis's new book, The Female Thing: Dirt, Sex, Envy and Vulnerability. Any title with female, dirt, sex, envy and vulnerability has to belong in my library. (You can download an interview with Laura Kipnis on Audible.com or just read about it for free here. ) I just skimmed around in the book and found wonderful quotes like this:

I'm talking about gender progress and all the impediments to it, needless to say, since when it comes to the female situation, contradictions speckle the landscape, like ingrown hairs after a bad bikini wax.

I'm looking forward to the weekend when I have more time to read all my new books.

I first found Laura Kipnis browsing in the library and found her polemic, Against Love, the only book I've ever read that spoke out in favor of adultery and against love. Kipnis had about 200 pages filled with paragraphs like this one:

When monogamy becomes labor, when desires is organized contractually, with accounts kept and fidelity extracted like labor from employees, with marriage a domestic factory policed by means of rigid shop-floor discipline designed to keep the wives and husbands and domestic partners of the world choke-chained to the status quo machinery -- is this really what we mean by a "good relationship"?

The thing I like best about Kipnis' books is that even commonly held beliefs are challenged head on with nothing taken for granted. Too much of my life has been spent just accepting things as I have been told them. Nothing should be so sacred as to avoid scrutiny.

Moral Values Project -- Georgetown Law

Today I got the chance to listen to a lecture by Chai Feldblum, a professor at Georgetown Law School. The lecture was geared primarily to addressing the need to restructure the political debate on sexual orientation in terms of moral discourse. I'll summarize the lecture's critical points:


1. Moral bracketing is the current method for addressing issues of homosexuality in political discourse. An example of moral bracketing is a religious person who is opposed to homosexuality on religious grounds, brackets that belief to allow for the law to provide some protection for homosexuals.

2. Solely relying on moral bracketing weakens the moral arguments that the homosexual community currently has access to. Relying just on an argument that government should stay out of the bedroom, prevents arguing about the actual moral issues.

3. Gender or sexual orientation is a morally neutral, while lack of gender equity is morally bad.

4. The moral argument is then restructured so the debate is focused on the morality of pleasure, the morality of tolerance, the morality of behavior and the morality of government imposing religious ideology (if religious grounds are the only reason you have for abhorring a behavior, then the imposition of penalties for that behavior is an unconstitutional establishment of religion by the State).

I went and checked out the Morals Value Project website and I was hoping for more information, but the project was only introduced officially about a month ago. I will be interested to see how it develops. The website does have some good information on federally mandated abstinence only sex education policies, but that is for another day.

I listened to the lecture and tried to restructure the arguments in a Mormon setting. Obviously when discussing morality within a religion, you don't have the secular constitutional arguments, but I like Professor Feldblum's idea of not seceding the moral high ground so easily. Mormon doctrine is so filled with contradictory messages about sexuality that it fucks up or unfucks anyone who comes in contact with it. Yet, a discussion of ethics and morality relating to sex has relevance, regardless of past, present or future religious affiliations or sexual orientations.

My very first post on this blog was just the kind of moral discussion that I think Professor Feldblum has in mind. What is moral when it comes to sex? What is ethical? What causes harm? What creates pleasure? What creates joy?

Merry Fucking Christmas!

This is a picture of the Virgin Mary I got off of Susie Bright's Blog -- she was using it to talk about Global Orgasm Day or G.O.D. for short. If you didn't come on December 22, you are going to have to wait for G.O.D. until next year.

Between the picture and the acronym, I plummeted into a spiritual rapture. This in fact is the Mary of Mormon-dom. This is Mary the Mother of Christ. This is why every good little Mormon boy wants to be righteous.

The theological basis are two fundamental concepts of Mormon doctrine:

1. As man now is, God once was, as God now is Man may become.

2. 1 Nephi 11:14-18 of the Book of Mormon. I have put in a modern day English translation as well, for those of you unaccustomed to reading translations off of golden plates:

14 And it came to pass that I saw the a heavens open; and an angel came down and stood before me; and he said unto me: Nephi, what beholdest thou?

Nephi: Holy shit! You are an angel.

Angel: "Wadda ya see?".

15 And I said unto him: A virgin, most beautiful and fair above all other virgins.

Nephi: "A virgin, a damn fine virgin -- the hottest virgin ever."

16 And he said unto me: Knowest thou the condescension of God?

Angel: "Did you know God gets down?"

17 And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.

Nephi: "I knew God loves us, but you've got to be kidding me -- seems a little bit too much like some Catholic priests."

18 And he said unto me: Behold, the virgin whom thou seest is the mother of the Son of God, after the manner of the flesh.

Angel: "Nope, I'm not kidding you. God banged that hot virgin and knocked her up. She had a boy."

The logical conclusion of these two doctrines for any young devout male believer is that be good and you can become like God and go around impregnating the hottest virgins on the worlds you create. So now you know why my heart started fluttering when Susie posted that picture of Mary. I even sent an email to the artist to see if I could buy a print. I want to spend more of my time contemplating the glories of the celestial realms of heaven.

As Christmas time winds down, I'm a little dismayed that this year I never quite captured the true spirit of a Mormon Christmas. Although I believe that all you Christians should be damn glad that Mary was hot enough to have God knock her up, so we can go out and spend all our cash during the winter solstice.

Phallus, Patriarchy and the Anarchy of Metaphor

bountiful_temple, originally uploaded by swilsonbp.

I'm still adjusting to the daily blogging. I'm going to have to figure out something, since my energy is being sapped quicker than I seem to be able to replenish, yet this daily publishing (even with few readers) is invigorating. I just made a long post on the Letters from a Broad blog on Natalie Collins new book and Mormon/Post-Mormon literature, which seemed to max out most of my writing tonight.

I found this lovely picture of the temple that captures so much of the church's phallic patriarchal energy. I love the glow at the point of insertion into Mother Sky. Yes, I know it is supposed to be Mother Earth and Father Sky, but somehow the ubiquitous Mormon steeple is left to fuck the sky and I didn't want to turn this post into a gay post, although I'm sure I'll discuss homosexuality and Mormonism at some point. I guess I can rephrase for inclusiveness: I love the glow as the temple spire fucks Father/Mother Sky.

Sex is the religious metaphor of this blog. Sex in its many varied aspects can metaphorically capture the seemingly irrational needs created by a religious heritage. The possibilites seem limitless: a pro and post Mormon fucking into reconciliation, an orgiastic Zion of one heart, one mind and one body, a rape of innocence and trust or a rape of cynicism and non-belief. Sex happens to be my metaphor of choice for dealing with religious metaphor.

Religion is nothing more than mythic metaphors of the human experience. I encourage you all to take the metaphors seriously. The most subtle subversion of fundamentalist religious faith occurs when the metaphor is exposed. Exposing the metaphor of religion is eating the forbidden fruit. You eat and you are out of the paradisiacal and unified world of the Church, and into the cold, cruel world of duality and ambiguity.

The acceptance of the religious metaphors by those of us in the apostate caste, forces the duality and ambiguity into true believing consciousness.

We must sow the mustard seed of unfaith.
We know the metaphors.
The metaphors resonate within us.
We need to fuck with the metaphors.

Resurrection -- A Christmas Story

How Private!, originally uploaded by Matjepoe.

"I am the resurrection and the light. He that believeth in me shall not perish."
Jesus Christ

Black panties and a moist undulating pussy fill a grainy television screen. Fingers are prying at the black lace waiting to get inside the pink folds of flesh hidden from view. A porno with a plot of a sex crazed patient who dreams sexual encounters that are monitored by the doctor and his prim horny assistant. Electrodes are placed on the silken inner thighs and the dream sequence begins:

A curve of breasts peek out of blue lingerie and a polar bear rug prepped with ice and a young, hot stud. Tongues come out of the mouths and the blue girl is teased with an ice cube.

Flash back to the dreamer, masturbating through black lace.

Blue's panties come down and the ice heads for the hot where it will die a watery death, melting in the passion of her twat.

One handed typing as the video couple fucks, I jack off with one hand until my cock is hard against the cool air. Taking it from behind, the blonde couple goes after it on the polar bear rug. The black pantied woman's hand on her clit and mine on my cock. How many times in this room have couples fucked and watched this couple fuck? In and out the tenants come and go. In and out the cock slides. In and out the ebb and flow of passion.

Las Vegas is a town that oozes sex. Billboards proclaim a show with no ifs, ands or "butts" of the G-string variety. If one was not careful, Las Vegas could become a sexual religion. Eat of my flesh. Partake of the hardness that is caused by my blood. I die, but I am resurrected. I am the erect cock, no longer limp and lifeless, but alive again. Resurrected on the neon cross of sin.

Even in Vegas, censorship won't allow me to see the cock enter the pussy or to see the erect male cock on this hotel's television – just pubic hair grinding together, rocking on the rock of her salvation. The wise woman puts her hot house upon a rock, not sand. Unlike the rock of the soil, the rock of the flesh explodes into a flood of sperm and an out rush of blood.

Life is a series of little deaths and resurrections. The resurrection of the cock, being one of the most common. Jesus needed a three day refractory period for his body — strong and alive and then nailed in the sky to an orgasmic death and three days later he is risen, again erect and walking the earth. Men brag of their refractory times – "I came, now start the clock." My cock dies, but it will be young and hard again, barring the eternal death of impotence, I shall arise from my grave and save all mankind with my life giving seed.

Oh God, the Eternal Father, We ask thee in the name of the Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this flesh to all those who may eat of it, and we do it in the remembrance of the body of thy son, so that we might always remember him and might have his spirit, the spirit of resurrection to be with us. Amen.

Oh God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this blood to all those who may partake of it, and we do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son, which has pumped and filled their cocks for them, so that we might always remember him and might have his spirit to be with us. Amen.

Christ the cock is risen today. Glory Hallelujah. Christ the cock is king today. Glo, Glo, Glory Hallelujah. Ten virgins wait for the bridegroom, but have the oil for your lubrication or the bridegroom will not be entering you tonight. Five are wet and ready, the five foolish are not. Christ enters the first, comes and shortly is resurrected in all his powerful glory to enter the second. Death after death. Resurrection after resurrection. Five are saved with the majesty of his presence.

Growing up Mormon with any integrity means realizing that religion is really all about sex. Every adolescent Mormon boy knows in his heart why Brigham and Joseph had multiple wives – they wanted to get laid. The Angel Moroni, the gold plates, the whole nine yards were all about getting laid, and laid often. The secret temple ceremonies that were the bastion of adulthood were merely rights of sexual passage. Victorianism and puritanism neutered the religion.

Imagine the temple ceremonies. Washing and annointings are the first ordinance. The initiate stands naked in the center of the room. His cock is urged upward by the plying hands of a female priestess. The other priestess join in massaging his body. Gently oil is applied to his chest, his arms, his legs and finally his loins. The female initiate is placed in a similar room and her body is annointed by the hands of the male priests, until the juices flow onto her thighs indicating with the surety of the man's erection that she is prepared for intercourse.

The prepared couple is placed in a garden, alone and naked, observed behind one way glass by the Gods. The erect serpent finds her and asks that she partake of his fruit, eat his fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. She eats and it is good. Adam enters into her and eats until he reaches the seed of the fruit. Man is now fallen, limp and cast out of her warm secret garden. No longer erect, he attempts to hide his fallen cock from the eyes of God in leaves, but the leaf lies flat and the fact that he has fallen is obvious.

"Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded you not eat?" Eve has eaten and swallowed his fruit. In sorrow, she conceives as the moment of ecstacy in the garden passes. The man must now toil. Life has deprived the joy that belongs to entering paradise. But Christ has shown us, once fallen, man can re-erect, resurrect and again enter paradise.

The ceremony completed in hotel rooms, bedrooms, outdoors under the stars, in cars and bars, even Edenic gardens. Sometime the ceremony is captured in granulated images of the hotel television pay per view, a chance to peer into paradise and behind the veil – one chance to view in the burning cock and bush – God.

Vibrator

Banana Vibrator, originally uploaded by zoezombie.

Rummaging in drawers,
The snoop-icity of divorce.
What's she up to?
Or – Who's into her?
Now I'm gone.

The drawer by the bed
Prior storage holder
During the marriage
Of incense and handcuffs --
Curiosity might kill this cat.

Once the drawer of marital bliss
No longer my home
With dread I slide it open -

For a moment sadness, jealousy and envy for the contents of that drawer –

A Vibrator.
To touch her.
To caress her.
To go inside her.
Not me insider her.

Suddenly sadness to madness to gladness –

A Vibrator!
Gyrate her!
An on your own climax -or!
Not some guy insider her!


A real live battery operated rubber fucker!

The gladness turns to glee --

She bought this dildo,
This battery operated rubber fucker
And it is smaller than me.

Sugarhouse

Sugarhouse fall, originally uploaded by catinlap.

Roots of older trees push up man-made concrete
Turning the ground's solidity into waves.
The tops of the trees crest towards the west, the light --
The lower branches an undercurrent of bob and weave.

Caught in the solution of memory
Breathe and stroke through leaf-thickened atmosphere
Breathe-stroke, Breathe-stroke--
Keep the goggles on.
Keep the nostrils plugged.
Keep the mouth shut

For Sugar houses dissolve on the tongue.


Ok, I know that poem doesn't have much erotic going for it, but hey -- its my blog and at this point no one is reading anyway, so I'll put up what I damn well feel like. Besides, Sugarhouse is in Utah and that is related to Mormons.

Stripper Glitter

The Queen of Glitter Gultch, originally uploaded by icklebird.

Her glitter

Made her eyes sparkle
Plastic flecks in black light,
Iridescent specks
Transferred from skin to cloth to skin to cloth.

Speckled I return home
With the scent of her lotion.

The memory
The aroma
The glitter

Gone in dawn's shower.

Stripper Geometry

Stripper, originally uploaded by Maximum Mitch.

Triangulated cloth
Pythagorean perfection
Obscures entrance to hollow cylinders
And tops semi-spheres on semi-spheres
Truth is found in geometeric shapes:
Triangle crotches,
Circular pasties,
Cylinder poles,
Rectangled bills
Intersecting elastic lines
On a curving graph
Of an undulating wave --

Parallel lives and lines

That will never intersect

Korihor Or How to Be An Anti-Christ

Screwing Around On Cafe Press

Now, I didn't start blogging for the money or the fame -- I take that back, maybe the fame. I've always had the idea of cross marketing to try and get people to read. Our culture is not a culture of readers and that is a bad thing when one is a writer who would like to be read. Marketing seems like a way to encourage reading -- even if it is a blurb on a T-shirt.

With this in mind and the fact that it is now three a.m., I have thrown together a couple of items to go onto the new store, http://www.cafepress.com/mormonerotica . I know there isn't any self promotion or anything else other than a couple of bare ideas. The ideas will refine over time. The internet and digital technology have certainly created a brave new world for the artist and for the audience. I would love feed back.

I have an entire line I want to create, but I need to find an artist who can do caricatures. I want to do a whole line of T-shirts, ala Enormous Johnson, but for Mormon-dom. So, if you know anyone who could draw Iron Rod for me I'd be grateful.

The one testimony I got from my mission was 2 Nephi 2:25 that the point of life was to have Joy. And what is more joyful than sex? I got the picture of the newly baptized and christened Joy from a creative commons licensed photograph by Savaman on Flickr. I'm a big fan of Creative Commons and will discuss more on that as time goes on.

Damn, time to get my ass to bed.

NPR On Point on Polygamy

On November 29, 2006, On Point with Tom Ashbrook broadcast a show on polygamy in Utah. You can download on I-tunes as well.

Nothing particularly erotic about the show. Mark Shurtleff, Utah's Attorney General, makes an appearance sounding like a politician and prosecutor. Vicki Prunty, Director of Tapestry Against Polygamy, a non-profit organization based in Salt Lake City, was placed in opposition to Mary Allred, third wife in a polygamous marriage.

The most interesting thing is the discussion about the US v. Reynolds . Here is a nostalgic quote from the court on polygamy, back in 1879:

Polygamy has always been odious among the northern and western nations of Europe, and, until the establishment of the Mormon Church, was almost exclusively a feature of the life of Asiatic and of African people. At common law, the second marriage was always void (2 Kent, Com. 79), and from the earliest history of England polygamy has been treated as an offence against society. After the establishment of the ecclesiastical courts, and until the time of James I., it was punished through the instrumentality of those tribunals, not merely because ecclesiastical rights had been violated, but because upon the separation of the ecclesiastical courts from the civil the ecclesiastical were supposed to be the most appropriate for the trial of matrimonial causes and offences against the rights of marriage, just as they were for testamentary causes and the settlement of the estates of deceased persons.

By the statute of 1 James I. (c. 11), the offence, if committed in England or Wales, was made punishable in the civil courts, and the penalty was death.

Well, Shurtleff wasn't propounding the death penalty, but I wouldn't give Tapestry Against Polygamy any rope.

As this blog progresses, I'm not interested in rehashing all of the old polygamy arguments -- abuse of the patriarchy, welfare fraud, women as property, etc. The much more intriguing polygamy discussion is how the specter of polygamy effects Mormon's erotic imagination.

Ulysses and the Mormons

James Joyce's novel Ulysses has been the bane of my existence for some time. I've tried to read it for over twenty five years and am amidst my most current assault on the text, having penetrated over 450 pages so far.

Amidst the Circe episode detailing Leopold Bloom's hallucinations in the Dublin red light district on June 16, 1904, Bloom is dreaming of his trial for harassing the good women of Dublin. The episode is written in the style of a play.

First Watch: He is a marked man. Another girl's plait cut. Wanted: Jack the Ripper. A thousand pounds reward.

Second Watch: (Awed, whispers.) And in black. A mormon. Anarchist.

The Crier: (Loudly.) Whereas Leopold Bloom of no fixed abode is a wellknown dynamitard, forger, bigamist, bawd and cuckold and a public nuisance to the citizens of Dublin and whereas at this commission of assizes the most honorable . . .

(His Honour, sir Frederick Falkiner, recorder of Dublin, in judicial garb of grey stone rises from the bench, stonebearded. He bears in his arms an umbrella sceptre. From his forehead arise starkly the Mosaic ramshorns.)

The Recorder: I will put an end to this white slave traffic and rid Dublin of this odious pest. Scandalous! (He dons the black cap.) Let him be taken, Mr. Subsheriff, from the dock where he now stands and detained in custody in Mountjoy prison during His Majesty's pleasure and there be hanged by the neck until he is dead and therein fail not at your peril or may the Lord have mercy on your soul. Remove him.

Wow! In less than a page Bloom is classified as a serial killer, a mormon, an anarchist, a forger, a bawd, a bigamist, a cuckold, a public nuisance, a political rabble-rouser, a white slave trader and a general pest, prompting him in the most Republican fashion to be sentenced to death. Bless the Courts of the United States that saw fit to allow such obscenity into our country back in December of 1933. While the 1933 fight raged over the obscenity trial, I think it is interesting to find the perception of the outside world of seventy years ago. James Joyce never got to see any "Give your children everything, give them your time" public service announcements. For him, "Mormon" was a derogatory term heaped upon the other charges against Bloom -- a term that denoted lasciviousness and wanton surrender to the appetites of the flesh.

Ahh, for the good old days of Mormonism.

P.S. I noticed the horns on the recorder and it made me think of the old rumors that Mormon's had horns. Does anyone know the origin of how Mormons came to have horns? Is it a carry over from the lascivious satyr or the horned cuckold?

Erotica Mormon Style

I found this one short piece of erotica about a male rationalizing being unfaithful with his girlfriend.

It isn't fantastic, but it did contain some themes that I think belong in Mormon erotica:

Duality
Polygamy
Fidelity
Morality

How should all of these play out?

An Email Following Up On An IM Chat

First -- yes, I was shamelessly flirting with you.

Second -- yes, the flirting got me aroused.

Third -- I truly wish there was a way to maintain the mystical connection I feel with all the women (not really that many) who I've had the great honor of being able to make love to. It isn't hard for me to love them all in their individuality and sexuality. That isn't a line or a seduction
technique, I genuinely feel this way. The fact that you granted me access to your body last week is something that I find very sacred and wonderful -- So, thank you.

Fourth -- Circumstances had conspired to make me quite bold tonight. I'm home alone (in my
cluttered house).

Fifth -- I know you had some rejection issues with me and I can assure you that it had nothing to do with your sex appeal, which is significant. Even more so after tasting you, licking you and entering you. If food metaphors weren't cliched, I'd say you were a dish I'd like to devour again.

Sixth -- I do wish there were a way to divorce negative emotion from sex, but hey -- there must needs be opposition in all things, or something like that. Great physical pleasure opposed by emotional strife.

Seventh -- I wouldn't mind talking to you face to face about some of these things. I was serious about my invite. I'm home alone, naked and in bed until about 6:30 a.m. tomorrow morning, so if you want to take advantage of me you'll need to call and I'll be sure to pick up the phone.

Eighth -- My Girlfriend. You know I don't write an email without thinking about how she would feel if she were to read it. We both have our mechanisms for keeping each other at bay, of keeping the relationship from becoming too serious. (Hers is refusing to live with me and mine is being OK with that.) Is the fact I'm proposing to fuck you again immoral as a result? I don't know. Maybe I'm truly polygamous at heart? I do love you all and would prefer to not see any pain for any of you -- even my former spouse (who I'm quite irritated with right now, but still don't wish her ill). Maybe it is my fear of death and my attachment to the female goddess in all its glorious forms that grounds me, albeit momentarily and ironically, in eternity.

Could be or that could be a massive bullshit rationalization for getting laid. There goes that opposition thing again. So, from one screwed up human being to another -- thanks for keeping me "up" as long as you did tonight. I will always consider you a dear friend and will always be honored that you let me worship in that holy temple of your body.

A Manifesto for The 21st Century

The last Mormon Manifesto was drafted in the 19th Century to ease Utah from priesthood to Statehood. I haven't read the Manifesto for years and one paragraph jumped out at me and deserves to be re-read:

I saw exactly what would come to pass if there was not something done. I have had this spirit upon me for a long time. But I want to say this: I should have let all the temples go out of our hands; I should have gone to prison myself, and let every other man go there, had not the God of heaven commanded me to do what I did do; and when the hour came that I was commanded to do that, it was all clear to me. I went before the Lord, and I wrote what the Lord told me to write. . . .

Despite my adolescent musings that I would be the one mighty and powerful who would rescue the church in the later days or be one of those missionaries in Jerusalem ushering in the Millenium, I am not saying the Lord is telling me what to write on this blog. I think Wilford Woodruff showed an important aspect of any Mormon's heritage: revelation leaves you an out.

Federal authorities about to toss you in jail for having multiple wives? God says stop.
Horny for a young girl and your wife opposes you? God says go ahead.

The Lord is adept in Mormonism of providing an out when the going gets tough, which makes me amazed when active participants in the religion are offended when they found out I took Moroni 10:4-5's ode to empiricism to heart and got a different answer than they did.

In 1890, Mormonism abandoned polygamy because the political climate (and the feds with their army) required it. One hundred and six years later those of us who have been influenced by Mormonism and its sublimated sexuality require a new Manifesto:

I see exactly what happens when nothing is done. I have had this spirit upon me for a long time. But I have to say this: I should be ostracized from my family; I should go to prison myself, and it is all clear to me. My experience tells me to write. . . .

A blog filled with dialogue on reconciling the sexual shadow cast by Mormonism on the psyche of its former believers.

A blog containing Mormon themed erotica.

A blog filled with blasphemy, heresy and sins against the Holy Ghost -- as long as it is arousing.

Tale of Two Daughters

Daughter One:

She first had sex at the age of nineteen, with a returned missionary. Being a good little Mormon girl she confessed to her parents. Her father, who at one point in a church service had indicated that he would rather see her in a coffin than fornicating, saw to it that she married that fornicating returned missionary. The marriage lasted three years.

Daughter Two:

Her first sex was at the age of eighteen. Her father saw to it that she felt loved and accepted despite the bad sexual experience. She was told that sex could be wonderful and not to judge all sexuality by an obviously traumatic experience. She almost immediately stopped seeing the guy and is now unmarried and going to college (and probably fornicating with condoms).

I can't help but feel that one response was better than the other.