Before I begin, let me rant just a little over the fact that I had drafted a marvelous post and lost it into the cyber-ether. Damn it all to hell.
Now, on to more pleasant topics: This choice little video (if I can get it to upload properly and not completely obliterate my prose, my links, my footnote and my Shakespeare quotes) does wonders for re-interpreting Second Nephi 1: 13-15.
So for today's scripture study, I want you to watch the video and contemplate the implications of the following scripture -- especially after you know what God did with that hot little virgin Mary.
13 O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound, which are the chains which bind the children of men, that they are carried away captive down to the eternal gulf of misery and woe.
14 Awake! and arise from the dust, and hear the words of a trembling parent, whose limbs ye must soon lay down in the cold and silent grave, from whence no traveler can return[1]; a few more days and I go the way of all the earth.
15 But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.
14 Awake! and arise from the dust, and hear the words of a trembling parent, whose limbs ye must soon lay down in the cold and silent grave, from whence no traveler can return[1]; a few more days and I go the way of all the earth.
15 But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.
It is good to know that God is only going to let the bondage game go on so long before he decides to encirle you about eternally in the arms of his hot, heavenly love. Watching that video, I was thinking, "Now, if I were God, sitting nigh up to Kolob, and that girl was all tied up in those painful looking ropes, why I would free her and redeem her and let her behold my glory."
Sorry women, but this is a patriarchal religion after all and you'll just have to be gratified with being saved from your bondage.
[1] I've wanted to do a footnote ever since I saw Gluby do it on his blog. I didn't have anything and then I realized that Lehi's little bondage speech contained some language that I had read before -- not when I was re-reading 2 Nephi for the twentieth time because I could never get past the sections where Isaiah was copied from the Old Testament, but rather from one of my even more frequent readings of the most famous dramatic soliloquy of all time. Ladies and Gentleman of the blogosphere, I give you Hamlet's To Be or Not To Be speech:
To be or not to be, that is the question —
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, . . . blah blah blah all in iambic pentameter . . .
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all
I'm so grateful that Shakespeare and Hamlet had the good sense to quote an Ancient American Prophet from 600 B.C. Shakespeare was so incredibly attune to the truth and nature of life. Yet, it appears that Joseph Smith and Hamlet suffered from the same cognitive disconnect -- they both seemed to know a lot of travellers from death's undiscovered country. Hamlet talked to the ghost of his father -- did he just forget about that? And Joe had a regular revolving door of the dead -- Christ, Moroni, Peter, James, John, John the Baptist, Elijah, Moses, etc. But alas, for us mere mortals, we have decidedly few visitors, but hey what do I know? I am but mad north by northwest, when the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw.
11 comments:
do you really want god to come down from his high perch and take away all our decision making. our choices are the only thing we truly have control over. how else do you have the freedom to think and write the nonsense that you do?
I know that I moderate the comments on this site, but I have never censored or changed a post -- if I ever do I'll let you know, but my inclination to allow free expression.
I find allowing posts that seem combative or confused are great for a) clarification and b) comic relief.
With that in mind, let us look at Jack's comment:
do you really want god to come down from his high perch and take away all our decision making.
The only time I've talked about God coming down to earth that I recall was when God was coming down to go down on Mary (the before God got her virgin). Now if you are discussing lowercase "god" as the dominant member in a sado-masochist dyad, I think it would depend on the particular nature of your kink, as to whether or not you'd want a safe word or not. Safe to say, nothing in anything I post or write could be construed as inhibited by a higher power -- unless of course she was really hot and had spikey boots and a black leather corset.
our choices are the only thing we truly have control over.
Now, Jack, if you believe this concept, I strongly encourage you to avoid any kind of study of neuro-biology, neuro-chemistry and other neurological sciences which call the validity of that statement into serious question. You just keep taking those serotonin uptake inhibitors and you'll be just fine.
how else do you have the freedom to think and write the nonsense that you do?
Now, that wasn't particularly nice. Aren't Mormons, even Jack Mormon's supposed to be nice? I am grateful for the freedom to think and write, but I believe that comes from the First Amendment of the Constitution, various court precedent and a long line of individuals who were willing to be thought foolish -- too think otherwise would be nonsense.
Don't you hate finding a typo after you've already posted? Yes, to think otherwise would be nonsense.
That's funny you're already getting Mormon hecklers!!!
I think I've only gotten one hostile comment from a Mormon in my blog's entire run.
Maybe I should follow your strategy and post more medium-to-hardcore porn. That might attract the faithful... ;-)
Well c.l., I'm glad I made it less than a month before I got a heckler. Jack sounded more like an ex-mo, fundamentalist Christian type, as opposed to the ex-mo, heretic-heathen-pagan type -- although I'm sure fundamentalist Christians are also attracted by soft core porn.
If I could just figure out how to get the search engines to pull up my blog when you type in Google or Yahoo! for "mormon erotica" I'd be inundated with bitches and moans from the straight and narrow crowd. I also know I'd vastly increase my readership, since sex sells to Mormons, as long as it can be clandestinely viewed.
Which reminds me of the old joke: Q: Why do you always take two Mormons fishing with you?
A: Because if you only bring one he will drink all your beer.
And yes c.l., please give us more porn, maybe some of that European stuff over there in France.
Don't worry, I've got some more erotic theoretical discussions and stories coming up. ;-)
I don't like to post a bunch of erotic stuff all in a row, though -- I like to trickle it in slowly surrounded by discussion of other topics.
Why? I think it's mostly because of my dominatrix side. ;-)
As for getting this blog to come up #1 on Google for "Mormon erotica", you're well on your way. The fact that it's the title of your blog is a huge boon for laying claim to this partiuclar search query.
What to do from here?
1. Keep going; keep posting interesting material. (More than one post a week is not necesary -- regularity is more important than frequency so don't burn yourself out.)
2. Interact with other blogs and hope they will add you to their sidebar/blogroll especially using "Mormon erotica" in the title of your link as I have done.
3. Having links from a range of different types of sites helps, but don't just randomly post links back to your site in places where it's not relevant. That's spam and annoys people. Post a link back to your blog if any only if it's relevant and you have something interesting to contribute to the conversation on the site.
I think it's interesting you home in on Joseph Smith's plagiarism. I tried reading the Book of Mormon once, just for fun. I couldn't do it. The shit was so obviously made up crap. Hell, I could have written a better bible myself. What surprised me most is that so many people are so gullible as to not be able to read between the lines. Some among those early church leaders must have been pretty hot themselves to get people to follow this. I probably would have turned into a priest fucker if I'd been in the group. Whew!
c.l.,
My dear first poster -- Thank you again for all the kind words. (I just learned that chanson is song in French, how appropriate.) I think I'm going to do a week and highlight your blog, your writings and your book if that would be alright with you.
There is a dearth of erotica that is Mormon themed and I want to fill that void, but as big as I am, I'm too small to fill that hole all by myself. I hope to have an orgy of writers who contribute and add to the body or bodies at work, or in French, the œuvre of Mormon erotica.
Maybe even an anthology at year's end, The Best Mormon Erotica of 2007.
Steve --
Welcome, welcome and I'm glad you dropped by. Mormons grow up knowing Joseph Smith borrowed passages wholesale from the King James Version of the Bible (which he also re-translated as well - the Bible that is.) This just happened to be the first time I saw him use Shakespeare -- I should have paid closer attention in Sunday School.
You need to post a link to where people can find you. I've seen what you can do with erotica and granted it is not Mormon themed, but we are an equal opportunity erotic site -- Mormon, Ex-Mo, Post-Mo, Never-Mo, Gay, Straight, Bi- -- this is an ambi-sextrous and ambi-religious site. At the least, put up a link with your email, the homosexual contingent of Ex-Mos is strong.
If you ever want a place to publish your story about your trip to Austria . . .
"big as I am"?
T, you never told me about that! Now I may have to make up some kind of Mormon erotica fantasy based upon that tidbit!
*winks*
How come nobody had commented on the hot bondage video attached here? Wow.
Sister Mary Lisa:
Some people say God is love. Is the Mormon take that God loves bondage? Just checking....
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