Think Prince had a little inferiority complex playing for the Super Bowl halftime? Here let me project my big cock and balls up on a screen to show you that I am more manly than Brian Urlacher. Tears were rolling down my eyes as the TV screen flashed the ankh-guitar cum cock-balls. I couldn't stop laughing and only one other person in the entire Mormon infested room understood why I was in hysterics rolling on the floor. You couldn't even see Janet Jackson's nipple with all the jewelry, even when you blew it up to twenty times the size, but Prince saved us the trouble, he blew his up for us.
So what does it say about the Family Values Football culture that a woman's nipples are enough to signal the downfall of Western Civilization, but a little pipsqueak rocker from Minnesota can project his wannabe cock to millions of Americans and not even a flicker of protest.
Apparently representations of the male genitals are less offensive than the female breast to our society. I'm just going to throw out an idea here and I'd love to hear your comments, but repressing female sexuality is necessary for maintaining conservative religious, political and economic control. The patriarchal control is phallic and in a symbolic and in a practical sense exposing female sexuality challenges the existing authority in a way that male sexuality does not. I realize it is not that simple.
Back twenty years ago or so, I remember a Time magazine article that made a bunch of people hot under the color because it described football in terms of sexuality. Tightly wrapped buttocks and genitals and enlarged head and shoulders battle to penetrate the opponents end zone -- something like that. Even spiking the ball after the touchdown, became yet another violative penetration. The homo-ification of football really seemed to bother a lot of people, yet given the Snickers Ad, I'd say that homo eroticism and football are still intertwined (not to mention Prince's rather androgynous appearance, despite his twelve foot cock with the pointy circumcised tip.)
UPDATE: SNICKERS AD PULLED
It appears that Sideon and I touched on a national topic before it became national news -- the speed of the Internet astounds. Sideon took the GLBT party line that the ad was homophobic. I responded by saying "Take a look at the guys face as he dives in -- pure lust. The entire thing was homoerotic, from phallic Snicker's bar peeled out of its wrapper to the deep kiss. Only the ending was homophobic."
This raises an interesting question, because the idea that two greasy car mechanics could be gay is against the gay sterotype and could be seen as a good thing. Snickers also apparently had alternate endings, which I found and have posted. The chest hair ripping was out of context for the rest of the commercial. The natural conclusion would have been for the two guys to acknowledge their mutual affection for each other and Snickers. Instead, Snickers played it for laughs and got snookered instead.
Rather than boycotting or asking the commercial to be pulled, the GBLT crowd should be asking for alternate endings. Have the commercial play when the two go off arm in arm munching on Snickers. The demanded apology or the moral outrage isn't nearly as effective as trying to figure out how to sublimate your message without in turn offending the very people you want to have understand. Go check out the Mormon Laban and Nephi rap video on The Shelf is Breaking for a similar discussion on racism and pop culture. From a sexual context and for further contrast to the Snickers controversy, look at the Britney/Madonna/Christina kisses and that uproar.
LOVE BOAT ALTERNATE ENDING -- Interestingly enough, this one has the highest rating of all the alternate Snickers commercials on YouTube.
MOTOR OIL ALTERNATE ENDING -- This was the most tasteless, I thought.
11 comments:
I think it's a step larger than that: Controlling WOMEN (period) is the goal of most conservative religion. But make no mistake, there is NOTHING as forbidden as male nudity, especially if it displays a big erect cock.
Steve,
I was referring to symbolic representations of the male genitals, not the actual male genitals themselves. I think that an underlying reason for the taboo on male nudity is the vulnerability of the male organ and its unpredictability. Instead our culture symbolizes it with missles, skyscrapers, Church Office buildings, church spires and steeples and now, ankh-guitars.
The Snickers commercial was blatant homophobia - there wasn't anything homoerotic about it.
I liked Janet's tit - am I the only one in America who thought the whole bruhahahaha was overblown? Gawd. That tit was tame compared to any of those "Girls Gone Wild" commercials.
For the record, I haven't watched football in years. In my younger days, the males in the extended family would go ga-ga over the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders while I was drooling over the tight-ends. Can someone explain the whole cheerleader fantasy, and while you're at it, explain the school-girl fetish? I don't fuckin' get it :)
Sideon,
Why do you think the Snicker's commercial was homophobic? Because they felt the need to rip out their chest hair? Take a look at the guys face as he dives in -- pure lust. The entire thing was homoerotic, from phallic Snicker's bar peeled out of its wrapper to the deep kiss. Only the ending was homophobic.
Certainly Janet was overblown, especially given the whole cheerleader institution. Three factors that made Janet so offensive to so many: one, she was exposed by a male; two, her exposure didn't come in a socially acceptable location, i.e. as a cheerleader or Girls Gone Wild ad and three, she seemed to have done it with intent.
The last factor is the most telling. Janet knew her breasts garner a lot of attention and she blatantly enlisted Timberlake to expose her in a mock molestation skit. She feigns embarassment and tries to cover up. The challenge to the powers that be come from her willingness to flaunt her sexual power in a calculated manner.
As for the cheerleader and school girl fetish, a quick answer is that sexual fantasy often coincide with sexual freshness. For an adolescent guy who is starting to notice girls, the short skirts with their promised, but generally denied easy access, are early fodder for awakening sexuality. The brain gets programmed into thinking that short skirts on adolescent girls equal sexy and an entire niche in the porn industry is born.
What gay fantasy's coincide with early adolescence? I'm sure there are many.
I was sitting in a room full of kids and family so I couldn't say aloud what you were thinking: NICE HOW PRINCE USES HIS GUITAR TO LOOK LIKE A HUGE PHALLIC SYMBOL ON TV!!!
Great post here.
The whole surprise on Janet's face was disgusting...They staged every single second of that whole spiel, from the song words "I'm gonna have you naked by the end of this song" to the moment of nipple pasty glory. Puhleeeez.
The Snickers commercial was worse than bad porn. What's worse than bad porn? Sand in your vaseline or lube.
Thanks for clarifying your position. Yes, the ending is homophobic. The lust filled gaze, the phallic bar, the deep kiss... all spoiled by the "oh my gawd, I have to over compensate and prove my manhood" pathetic moment.
Who said two greasy mechanics can't be gay? Those glass ceilings and stereotypes are being dismantled, daily. My partner was in the Navy as a bombadier/navigator and jet mechanic during "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Not exactly an expected profession...
The Snickers ad exploits men and their fears. What if that luscious chocolate bar could create such lust that you'd have your tongue down another guy's throat?
I don't have the answers - just opinions and perspectives. I think the tits and homophobic debates are sometimes overblown, like my own reactions.
What did you think of the Love Boat version in my update? Thanks for keeping us right on the cutting edge of the news.
When a large majority of people have an overblown reaction, I'd say that something has sparked that reaction. (Sex seems to do that more often than most things.)
What we over-react to is often the most instructive.
I didn't think the Snickers commercial was homophobic! In fact, I thought it was pretty hot. But, it's also true that I have a mechanic fetish. To me, the reaction to the kiss was exactly the kind of thing you might see from a couple guys who weren't quite out of the closet. I found it kind of unsurprising, though the amount of hair they each pulled out seemed a bit much. Ouch!
Steve, Sideon and other closet gays that haven't come out yet -- I really do want to know your take on the Love Boat version. I found it the funniest of all.
And Steve, I agree, up to the hair pulling, it seemed like a natural reaction of two guys that weren't quite comfortable with where they were at sexually.
I had a similar experience with a co-worker once (female, sorry guys) caused by Long Island Iced Teas, rather than a Snickers Bar, but the reaction after we kissed was kind of like, "Oh Shit, what just happened!" Those taboo relationships can jump up and surprise you.
The Love Boat episode was pretty funny, but the hair flip thing was kind of odd. Queer, you might say. :)
I think I'm a tad sensitive to the whole not-out-of-the-closet-yet or the I-think-I'll-try-being-gay routine. I've banged one too many straight guys and sorry, those notches on the bed post aren't worth it.
Sorry, I don't think I caught the love boat thing.
You know, I think homophobia is bascially where you find it. I'm a great Pollyanna - I can just choose to make the best silk purses out of sow's ears when I choose to do so. (Of course, I can be the most depressive grouch the rest of the time.)
I'm just thrilled something gay made it into the f-ing superbowl! For crying out loud! Next thing you know, some hot quarterback grab his center by the balls!
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