Fantasy: Getting Back to My Erotic Intentions

I just realized that I haven't written enough erotica for my blog. I don't want to misadvertise, so I'm going to propose seven questions that I was asked recently in a writing class I took from Susie Bright (who I might add, should get some credit for me actually starting to blog). I'm going to post my response, but I challenge any of you to answer all seven questions in the comments or on your own blog -- if you do it on your own blog, at least let us know and leave a link. It beats the hell out of all those other tag questions that make the rounds. Anonymous posts are fine and better to be anonymous, honest and typing, than known and silent. Oh, and this needs to be done as you fantasize -- sort of a Zen sex thing -- the sound of one hand typing.

1. Who is in your fantasy?
2. What is the location, where are you?
3. What do the other people look or sound like?
4. Are you having sex in the fantasy, or are you watching others?
5. What are the elements that make this fantasy so exciting?
6. What is the most intense point of excitement in the fantasy?
7. What are the feelings going on during the fantasy (joy, contentment, love, anxiety, fear, guilt, anger, jealousy, pride, relaxation, tenderness, remorse, naughtiness, revenge)?


1. Who is in the fantasy?

I realized that I’ve gotten lazy in my sexual fantasy life. Clicking on some Internet porn, mentally swapping myself out with the participants in a mindless little release to make myself fall asleep most nights (sounds sad and depressing doesn’t it) has been my standard operating procedure for long enough that I felt limp at the task of coming up with something to fantasize about, but here it goes.

I’m going through a list of names of girls I’ve fantasized about in the past – Jana, Dora, Kandy, Kora, Leah, Mary, Carrie, Sally, Justine, Lana, Callie, Lori. Little twitches in my cock about each one, still on the limp side though.

I think that my fantasies seem kind of limp and generic too. I like to imagine watching the girl’s pussy sliding up and down on my cock – boring, but generally effective when coupled with fondling. So the fantasy works like this: My cock, tab A, is inserted into Slot B, INSERT GIRLS NAME HERE’s pussy and away goes the fantasy. A couple of tugs per girl and I’m still limp. This ordinarily effective way of fantasizing is failing me, probably because of this conscious dialogue and note taking.

So I start thinking of things to spice things up. It is funny because the fact that my blog "audience" appears to be females and a gay males has an effect on my attempts. Abortive attempts at harem fucking, joint cock sucking with one of my harem, crass chauvinistic rutting with as many females as possible, all start to raise my cock a little. A six-some leaves me not hard, but kind of droopy.

The sound gets me most right now – the almost dry sandpaper sound of my hand going up and down on my cock. Looking at my cock as it starts to get hard, I watch as the curl of circumscribed flesh begins to pull away from the head and tighten. I realized I don’t usually jack off in the light and it is strange to see the hairs on my cock in such distinct relief. My cock looks a little dried out. I’m making progress, but still not particularly hard.

2. What is the location, where are you?

Since I wasn’t making much progress I decided I’d try out location. Since it is snowing and near sub zero temperatures outside, of course I chose Jamaica – a clothing optional resort with beautiful weather, lots of naked people, naked volleyball.

3. What do the other people look or sound like?

I couldn’t help but see the next question and started to think about what it looks like around the pool. Clothing optional resorts tend to have about the same type of body types and looks as the supermarket, just absent the clothing. I think about the resort and just like the supermarket, there is one woman who is flat out attractive. She wades up to me, her hands swaying above the water in counter-rhythm to her tits. It is a seductive sway. Since this is my fantasy, there is no precursor, no foreplay, no chance of rejection, just her flat out propositioning me. I accept and join in the general orgy that has formed with all the naked bodies.

I’m trying to think what everything sounds like and I think back to the audio recording I heard of a six-some. The sounds have a rhythm, dah-dah, dah-dah – the in and out. Lip smacking. Giggles. Sighs. Moans. All done to the underlying rhythm of the bass smacking sounds. When it gets wet, it sounds like a wet dish rag slapped repeatedly against the counter. Occasionally, soprano sounds join in with the bass grunting.

4. Are you having sex in the fantasy, or are you watching others?

Oh, I’m definitely having sex in my fantasy. I’m hard, my heart is pounding, from previous exercises watching myself, I know I must be a little flushed – and the phone rings.
I’m serious, the phone really rang. I figured what the hell, this is an experiment, so I answered it. It was a friend of mine, Mark, who was calling me to set an appointment. Earlier in the month he had called me with a problem with his 20 year old step daughter, who had been arrested for peeing on the side of a Wal-Mart. She was a little bit drunk, apparently. I ask how she is and he goes on a tirade about her boyfriend who was arrested for forgery and who he had kicked out of his house because as he said it, "I was tired of providing him with a warm room and a vagina." I wondered if he realized I was in the middle of a fantasy exercise, with my cock still quite hard. I struggled to control my breathing, trying to sound normal. So of course, I slip out of Jamaica and start thinking about his bad girl daughter. The one time I met her she was falling out of her shirt, all her young curves accosting my eyes. Peripherally listening to my phone conversation, I started fucking his step daughter in my fantasy. Her wild child persona that she tries so hard to portray makes the fantasy fun and naughty. In the fantasy, I pretend I’m fucking her and not talking to her step dad, but to another woman, Lindsay, who is exactly her opposite, tall, slender and angular. Lindsay’s husky voice talking to me and young, Ruben-esque wild child in too much make-up going wild on my cock. I lose the fantasy as I have to schedule an appointment.

5. What are the elements that make this fantasy so exciting?

Hanging up, my heart rate is up, but I’ve grown a little soft. I see this question on the list and think about what has got me this far and what has been most exciting. Two things I find arousing: exhibitionism and taboo violation. Being bad is flat out sexy and showing off being bad is even better. Thinking about taboo, takes me back to my earliest experiences with sex’s precursors while going to college when everything was taboo and the slightest sexual contact was a sin and evil. I quickly re-run a couple of extra tense make out sessions of my youth and ironically, they still carry a lot of juice -- Rochelle, who I met at the gym, and dry-humped my cock with her in her bikini and me in my swim suit; the girl, I forget her name now, but she was a Levi love queen and she liked to make out during church services or around the corner from her parents with the potential of immediate discovery; Sally, the first girl that pulled me (fully clothed) between her (fully clothed) legs, as I lay on top of her; and another Susan, who much to my amazed surprise peeled her shirt and bra off while we were making out. These memories of more virginal times bring me back to a more full erection. I clench those PC muscles and the head of my cock actually grows, expanding red and the veins pop out, more inflated with blood. For the first time during this jack off session, a small bead of clear liquid shows at the tip of my cock. I taste it. I love the taste of the pre-cum. It is clean and clear in its taste as it is with its appearance. Completely different and better taste than sperm. Pre-cum is the taste of heightening arousal, not the aftertaste of explosion and release. Pre-cum is like speed. This is the spot of sex and arousal I like best, right on the brink. I don’t want to come, just get caught in the buzz and stay there. Feeling the rush, I press my perineum with my little finger and ring finger, my middle finger rests on my balls and my thumb and forefinger form a cock ring sqeeezing the base of my cock, forcing it to fill even more with blood. This reminds me of a story I read about cock rings and the eviction of a gay man, who was clearly submissive and got off on the sheriff haranguing him. This wasn’t working for me on the fantasy. I went back to thinking about the things that turned me on.

Exhibitionism – yeah that is one of my great fantasy turn ons. Shouldn't I do a video tape instead of a blog post? Or at least as an alternative? That would be fun – I could put it on my Hyperlink Footnote blog. Getting off on my exhibitionistic fantasy, I imagine the visuals and sounds of intercourse, the visuals of arousal, the words I mutter "Oh shit, I can’t hold it" as I come on to the folds of her labia and onto my hand in the cold evening of tonight’s reality.

6. What is the most intense point of excitement in the fantasy?
The highest point of my physical excitement was when I was riding the pre-cum bliss. At that juncture, senses and awareness seemed to rachet up. The sensual focus is raised, but the focus narrows onto the body, kind of like the intensification of light by a magnifying glass. I like the feeling of that burning light, much more the diffusion when it bursts into flames.
Ironically the most intense excitement in the fantasy was probably when I was going back and reliving my early university years (yes, I was an extremely slow starter – virginal until marriage). Early, new and initial encounters seem to pack a lot of emotional impact.

7. What are the feelings going on during the fantasy (joy, contentment, love, anxiety, fear, guilt, anger, jealousy, pride, relaxation, tenderness, remorse, naughtiness, revenge)?

I started this post exhausted after a long day of work. I’m surprised that the whole cycle of arousal and release gave me enough creative juice (yeah, that was a bad pun) to get through the assignment, but it did. I feel pleasantly tired now. I don’t think I can jack off without some residual guilt. Some time in my teen years my neural pathways were carved out so the guilt sections of my brain were inextricably linked to orgasm. Over the years the guilt has faded into a shadow of guilt, a mild discontent when I come, which makes me enjoy the ride more than the end. During the ride, I don’t feel the guilt or discontentment, which are burned off in the magnified bliss of sensual focus of arousal.

I enjoy the freedom I feel when I am aroused. Inhibitions get released as the arousal increases. The taboo breaking just adds to the inhibition breaking. In hindsight, it appears that my fantasy is to escape rules, conditioning and control.

Oh, yeah, I’m tired now, exhausted.