Blog-osophy: Exhibitionism and the Word

Exhibitionist, originally uploaded by Mr Jaded.

I'm still struggling with developing my own philosophy of the blog or blog-osophy for short. I've read many, many blogs since I started writing this one and I'm titillated by the exhibitionistic quality of blogging and my voyeuristic consumption.

People routinely cut open their most innermost secrets and splay them out in exhibitionistic fervor. Reality TV? No, the blog reality is a land of voyeurs and exhibitionists. We are in search of some blog with a common cause, a common experience, an ounce of titilation to jolt a mundane existence, or simply the catharsis of realizing that there are people in a hell of a lot worse shape than you.

Diaries used to be kept under lock and key, but with a blog you can parade your exhibitionistic side, letting people read your diary, because they are locked out, not from the words, but your identity. The diary had to be locked up because the proximity of the journal exposed the identity of the writer. Blogs are exhibitionism without consequence.

Writing is one of the most primitive forms of exhibitionism -- a snapshot of thoughts captured in symbolic form. The gaze of the voyeur is the verification and justification of existence.

I used to pray to God, hoping he would hear me. Now I pray to you. Look at me. See inside me. See my brain. God is gone, but I still want something or someone to verify that my existence is real, that I exist.

Mormonism -- the bastards -- pounded three questions into my soul:

Who am I?

Why am I here?

Where am I going?

I haven't been able to shake the constant nagging of those three fucking questions. I think the questions bug me now more than ever, because I really wanted to know the answer, still do want to know the answers and I'm so far away from anything even remotely close.

But what does the meaning of life have to do with blogs? Everything. One of those pesky needs that we humans seem to be faced with is the need for connection. Sex is a great way to connect -- Tab P goes into Slot V or any other number of connections. Sex as a connective force is what propelled me to start this blog. I wanted to connect with other people by talking about the ultimate physical connection. In the meantime, I want to word-fuck your brains, too. I want to get inside you, make you feel my hard cocked words, until you come and come again, because you want more of me inside you. Voyeur fucking is the blog drug of the exhibitionist writer.

I used to think I needed to be a published writer with books on shelves, but I'm beginning to think that has changed. Technology has changed everything. You don't have to fuck anymore. You can do it all in the laboratory with words -- a little in-vitro word-ilization. I want my spermazota of ideas to impregnate your mind until you give birth to our bastard child of thought. If you are thinking, fuck this guy at this point, then put down a comment and maybe you can.

Is this a solid blog-osophy? I don't know. It is a start. I still don't know who I am. I still don't know why I'm here and I sure as hell don't know where I am going. All I know is that it is going to be one hell of a ride.

So now I have exposed myself to all of you and I know it isn't pretty. But hey thanks for looking.